Some thoughts...

Tonight I decided to sit down and read back through our blog.... what a trip it's been so far...

I know there are family members out there who are still questioning this decision and may not truly understand our motivation, or may just be frustrated by the wait, or may not agree with our decision to go to Africa. I have to admit this makes me very sad. Though reading back through our blog, I realize we haven't truly adequately expressed all our thoughts and feeling on these topics. It's hard to do in a blog, especially knowing the kind of comments and backlash sharing your true feelings and beliefs can cause (both from those we love and the public at large). Believe me, we've heard many shocking things over the past two years...

I guess I'm writing to try to make this a little more real, a little more personal to those who have these doubts/criticisms.

1. Our decision to adopt - Phil and I both love children. We love all ages, we love all types, we love all races. It breaks our hearts to know there are children in the world who are alone. It breaks our hearts to know there are children who don't have enough to eat, who don't have clean water, and who don't even cry anymore because they know no one is there to answer. Of course I have a biological clock, of course we have the same desires as most couples to mix our genes and see what comes out, of course I want to know what it's like to carry a child. But these personal desires are not enough for me to forget about these orphans. Someday we might have a biological child... or we might not. We believe God put this burden for these children on our hearts and we intend to see this adoption through unless he directs us to do otherwise. It IS hard to wait this long when I've wanted to be a mother all my life.... but even after 2 years of waiting, I don't wish we'd made a different decision.

2. Why International adoption when there are so many children in the US? - We live in the greatest country in the world. Americans have more opportunities than those in third, second, and most other first world countries have ever dreamed of. While our desire would be for all children to experience a safe, stable, loving home, it's just not within our reach to make that a reality. We chose to adopt internationally because we felt that was where the biggest need was. While American orphans are afforded opportunities to go to school (even college), their counterparts in some other nations are lucky to survive to the age of 8. Please understand, we have the utmost respect and admiration for those who foster and adopt from the US. These are just our own, very personal reasons for going overseas.

3. Why Africa? - I'm actually going to address the underlying question here, as we have already addressed the literal question in previous posts. While many have asked this question, truly meaning exactly what they say, it's clear there have been others who are actually questioning our decision to adopt black children. As it would not be PC to ask what they're really wanting to ask, I do understand why they would phrase the question in this manner. However, since they cannot truly ask what they want to, they never actually get the answer they are looking for. Well here it is- children are children. I'm going to admit something here, and this is part of what I was alluding to earlier when I said I wanted to make this more real, I wasn't really open to going to Africa at first. Of course I always knew the orphan situation was the most dire in Africa. I just didn't know if we were equipped to raise black children in the south. We all faced peer pressure in school, so just trying to imagine what it would be like for our kids, who might not ever feel like they really "fit in," scared me. And it still scares me. But when you stop and think about these small things American teens deal with, and you begin to contrast them with the struggles of teenage orphans in Africa, you realize those fears are just excuses. I believe Africa was always God's plan for our family, I was just clinging to my own understanding. I'm not going to claim to know for a fact this was God's plan, but knowing all this, it's not surprising our Kazakh adoption didn't work out. My will just took a year and a half to bend...

4. What if they have HIV/AIDS? First I'll give the logical answer: most orphans don't. They are also tested. To bring an HIV/AIDS orphan into the US you also need a lot of additional documentation, so safeguards are in place. Now I'll give the answer my heart is screaming: we'll deal with it! At least we have access to ARVs in this country that make HIV more of a chronic condition than a fatal one. Better they live in a place where they can be cared for than die in a place where they can't. We know some believe it's "not our fight," but we feel this adoption is God ordained and that he won't give us more than we can handle.

5. Two babies/toddlers at once, are you crazy???? Haha. This one isn't so serious. But I do want to assure all those mothers out there that I'm not floating around in a dream world thinking everyday will be non-stop laughter and hugging (though if you know Phil well, it's kinda hard to believe it WON'T be :) ). We just seem to get a lot of "You'll see when you're parents.." and "just wait...." comments. Yes, ladies. I understand how hard this will be and I'm hoping to have your support rather than "I told you so..." I know I will be exhausted, I know I won't be able to even go to the bathroom on my own- that's why I'm trying to enjoy my sleep and personal space now. Got it? :)

Well, I hope this helped. I know it helped me. And thank you so much to all of those who have shown us unwavering support and love. Our babies are so blessed to have such an amazing support group already in place.

We love you all!

Amy (& Phil)

Hugs from God

Hi all!

Well, we called our agency on Friday to check in and see if we've moved up the waiting list and........ we're first in line for a sibling group!! And since we are open to the possibility of adopting 2 unrelated children, we are also on the infant girl list. Basically, if we get matched with an infant girl before we get matched with a sibling group, we'll accept that referral then be placed on the boy list (which moves considerably faster). We're currently 7th on the infant girl list!

So, what does this mean? It means we could get our referral call any day now! Phil actually called our coordinator back after we got the news to make sure we heard him right and that we truly, literally, could get the call any day... It's true!

Of course, along with this news came the realization that at this very moment, our children could be losing their parents... It's a sobering thought, and tough to handle. Please pray for our children and their birth parents; that this transition will be as painless as possible and that they feel God's love through the pain. Please pray that their birth parents have a sense of calm about their children's futures.

As for the "hugs from God"- Phil and I received something very special and timely in the mail Saturday. We have sponsored a little boy in Sudan for about three years now and wrote him a letter about a year ago. Well, wouldn't you know, the day after we received news that we're next in line, we not only received our final document needed for travel (I-797), but a beautifully colored picture of the Baby Jesus with an angel watching over him and a letter from this sweet boy in Africa. I felt like God was saying- "Look, I haven't forgotten about you and my angels are watching over your kids in Africa, just as they watched over mine."

Thanks for all your prayers!

Love,
Amy & Phil

1 Month of Waiting

Hey Everyone,

Well, we've officially been waiting for 1 month for our referrals! No news, but please keep us in your prayers. We'll let you know as soon as we hear anything.

All the Best,
Amy & Phil

Our documents are on their way to Ethiopia!!

Hey everyone! It seems our documents have made it through all the crazy steps in the US and are now on their way to Ethiopia! We can't believe we've finally reached this important milestone.

Now all we can do is wait for the referrals and pray.

Thanks to all of you for following along in our journey with us!

Love,
A&P

Paperwork is A-OK!

Hey Everyone! Just wanted to let you know that our paperwork has all been approved by our agency! They have mailed us the final form we need before we can send our dossier on to Washington DC, where it will be authenticated. Acorrding to UPS, it should arrive tomorrow! Once the dossier is authenticated in DC, it will then travel back to our agency then on to Addis Ababa in Ethiopia. We'll keep you posted!

Many Blessings,
Amy & Phil

So Sorry!

Oh my. I just checked our blog to see what Phil's last post was... I am so sorry we just left everyone hanging like that!! Anyway, here's the news...... We've changed countries to ETHIOPIA and now we're adopting TWO!!! There's quite a long story behind the switch, but basically here's what happened:

As many of you know, our motivation to begin our family through adoption is to give a child (now children!) in an impoverished country a home. Our first thoughts were of Russia, because the two main people who brought adoption to the forefront of our minds were connected to Russian adoption. As we got into the process, we found that Russia (and Ukraine) couldn't handle the number of families interested in adopting their orphans. The truly sad part is that there ARE orphans in these countries. The government just can't process families quickly enough.

We then moved on to Kazakhstan. Unfortunately the Kazakhstan officials also became overloaded as families who were trying to adopt from China, Russia, and Ukraine, spilled over into the Kaz program.

While we were waiting for our docs to be processed for Kaz, Phil began reading a book by Vernon Brewer, who had spoken at our church a few months back. His book, "Children of Hope", is about the millions of African children who have been abandoned to fend completely for themselves after watching their parents die of HIV/AIDS. (You actually can get the book for free- just pay shipping- by visiting his website http://www.worldhelp.org/). Phil's heart was broken for the children of Africa. He then read John Ortberg's book "If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat" and was inspired to pray continuously that God might provide a way for us to help the orphans in Africa. This probably should have been a clue to us that God might want us adopting from Africa, but we just kept on with Kaz. A bunch of other amazing things happened shortly after, all connected to Phil's desire to help orphans in Africa.

Meanwhile, our docs were still at a standstill with Kaz. One night in November, Phil asked me if I thought maybe we should consider changing to Ethiopia (one of only 2 African countries that allow American adoptions). At first I was hesitant. We had been waiting SO LONG already, and starting the process over was certainly not what I wanted to do! But I told him I'd pray about it, which I did. The next day I picked up "Children of Hope".... That night Phil had his answer- LET'S GO TO AFRICA!! We also both felt we would LOVE to adopt 2 while we were there. We would have considered two from Kaz, but the cost would have been astronomical (around $65,000), but we can adopt two from Africa for slightly less than adopting 1 from Kaz!

So we're back in the paper-chase phase (though, we actually should be ready to send our docs off this week! ). After spending a year and a half in the adoption process already, we're a little gun-shy with guessing when we'll meet our two little ones. But if all goes well, we should have a referral sometime before next summer, and we should travel by late fall '09. Oh, and we're expecting either a girl and a boy or 2 girls under 3 1/2 years old :)

So, again, I apologize for the month-long teaser on our news. I think Phil just wanted to make sure he had adequate time to blog about such a huge change! Thank you all so much for following along with us and supporting us with your prayers!

Love, Amy & Phil

News??

We do have some big adoption news...

We're not about to travel and we don't yet have a referral, but it is very happy news!

Stay tuned - we'll post a big update soon!

Love,
Phil & Amy